The 69 Dumbest Moments of the 12 months: 2024 Crypto Version – Decrypt

Crypto was dumb in 2024—like, actually dumb. This 12 months’s meme coin supercycle spawned probably the most weird characters the trade has ever seen, which is saying so much, and conferences had us cringing weekly, all whereas politicians begged on their knees for the crypto vote (or at the very least its cash).And with this, we’ve loved a few of the dumbest moments ever inscribed on the peerlessly distributed, immutable, uncensorable Blockchain of Life. From a meme coin developer setting himself on fireplace to advertise his meme coin (#6, beneath) to FARTCOIN itself piercing a billion-dollar market cap (a late breaker that we did not even depend, however Stephen Colbert did), this 12 months was really one thing all of us will be happy with. These are the moments that outline us, and which we will retell endlessly to our youngsters, and our youngsters's kids, all of whom will likely be basking within the generational wealth we created in 2024, and past.To commemorate crypto's awesomely idiotic 12 months that was, we’ve randomly gathered an unranked record of 69 of the Dumbest Moments of the 12 months.1. Meme coin mammoriesLIVEMOM could also be peak crypto degeneracy. Picture: Kick LivestreamAn alleged mom joined her alleged son on a livestream to shake her boobs, begging viewers to spend money on her son’s actual meme coin.“Do you wanna see him pour milk over these 36DDs?” she requested, noting—in case we weren’t already horrified sufficient—that her son “really suckled on these. Now he’s going to get to pour milk on them.”2. Getting cheekyThe viral success of LiveMom kick began a dwell streaming meta the place meme coin devs would do silly shit to spice up their Pump.enjoyable tokens—some would name it efficiency artwork.One dude tied his fingers so he couldn’t dump on traders, one other claimed to don't have any arms in any respect (earlier than he revealed them and bought all the pieces), and a 3rd dev mentioned he had kidnapped somebody. We want that was the worst of it, nevertheless it positively wasn’t: one man misplaced his tooth whereas boxing, and one other genius merely streamed their unfold ass cheeks.
Lately, a man created a token known as $Fingers and posed with a paper beneath his chin saying, “I've no fingers, I can not do a Rug Pull.”
However when it peaked, he pulled his fingers out from behind his again and bought his tokens like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat pic.twitter.com/MalhNvz3Pb
— Rizz God (@Hirizzy) Might 6, 20243. Making quite a lot of MollahSince the discharge of the Bitcoin whitepaper in 2008, folks have puzzled who Satoshi Nakamoto is. In October, one man stepped ahead claiming to be the true deal.British-Asian macroeconomist Stephen Mollah mentioned he had been attempting to disclose his true identification for a while however folks stored stopping him. On the occasion (which he charged an entry payment of £500 for) he additionally claimed to have created the Twitter brand, ChatGPT, and the Eurobond, a kind of debt.Mollah rambled for over an hour, finally claiming that he would transfer Bitcoin from the Genesis block “very quickly” however he needed to put together for it. (Sadly, this nonetheless hasn’t occurred.) When diving by way of his Twitter account, we discovered a spree of 2018 posts calling out all the “Faketoshis” on the market accompanied by some attention-grabbing pictures.
A person known as Stephen Mollah has taken to the stage. He claims to be Satoshi Nakamoto – the thriller inventor of Bitcoin. He’s claimed this earlier than and is at the moment in authorized dispute about it. He'll now present proof, he says. pic.twitter.com/XkapPT7y3c
— Joe Tidy BBC Information (@joetidy) October 31, 20244. See the kitty? Pet the kitty. No, not that kitty…Solana meme coin manufacturing unit Pump.enjoyable has been the house to a few of the most jaw-dropping, idiotic moments in crypto. A working example was when degens began buying and selling a coin primarily based on an “invisible cat” known as Kieth… it’s only a photograph of an empty room. And sure, it’s spelled that method.5. Slerf’s up!Picture: Slerfsol on TwitterA developer by accident burned $10 million value of pre-sale tokens raised for the about-to-launch Slerf meme coin—reasonably than sending them to pre-sale contributors. What occurred subsequent? The token shot as much as a market cap over $700 million, in fact.6. Florida man says to Slerf dev maintain my beer, burns self to pump tokenTruthorDare dev after being lit on fireplace. Photos: Screenshots from Kick, Telegram, and Twitter dwell streams.A Florida meme coin dev set himself on fireplace in an try to pump his token. It labored, and the token spiked over 2,000% to a market cap of $2 million in just some hours. However he was hospitalized with third-degree burns and couldn’t promote, because of the intense medical consideration he instantly required. As soon as he recovered, he couldn’t correctly use his fingers and claimed his telephone’s face ID didn’t acknowledge him.Months later, he stop the venture claiming he was taken benefit of. His greatest remorse? Not promoting.7. Does this ass make my tattoo look fats?Hop does not remorse his tattoo mistake Picture: Twitter @Hop_DuneskiA Gigachad investor determined to get his Solana meme coin’s contract deal with tattooed… however he spelled it flawed.8. Does this hair make my head look fats?A crypto degen began to gather his girlfriend’s hair, one strand at a time, inserting them on a styrofoam model head. As day two dawned, price range airline Ryanair reposted the account suggesting that the proprietor must fly to Turkey for a hair transplant, which apparently is a factor there. In fact, the token skyrocketed over 470% because it garnered extra mainstream consideration.9. Unreality TVA tour of the “Solana Villa,” a part of a crypto actuality TV present, went viral this 12 months just because it was so obnoxious.“Take a look at this helipad. In case you don’t have this, you’re poor. HA HA pace tour!” the influencer mentioned, exhibiting off an Airbnb property.10. Remilia KingRemember Joe Unique (the Tiger King)? Keep in mind when he joined an NFT group known as “Retardio” out of the blue? After which bought airdropped a DeGod? Nah, didn’t assume so.11. Gold medal griftingCaitlyn Jenner. Picture: ShutterstockCaitlyn Jenner (inventor of the tokenized Olympic medal ploy!) kick-started a complete celeb meme coin meta. What was significantly dumb was that Jenner launched a token on Ethereum the identical week she launched her preliminary meme coin on Solana. The brand new token claimed to have the objective of supporting Donald Trump’s presidential marketing campaign. Months later, each tokens had crashed beneath $1 million market caps.12. This little Iggy by no means went to marketCaitlyn Jenner lashes out at Sahil Arora, the individual behind her JENNER token. Picture: Twitter + Sahil Arora.A part of the explanation Caitlin Jenner wished to relaunch her celeb venture was as a result of she claimed to have been “scammed” by the one who helped her create it: Sahil Arora. Arora made a reputation for himself this 12 months because the mastermind behind numerous short-lived celeb tasks and the odd Twitter hack.That’s why it was so dumb that individuals fell for his lure by sending $380,000 to a pre-sale pockets for an Iggy Azalea token that that disavowed by Ms. Azalea. One pre-sale participant mentioned that Arora had “misplaced all his rep” in consequence.13. Who’s your DADDY?Andrew Tate broadcasts a world tour. Picture: Andrew TateWho can overlook the heartwarming story of Andrew Tate, who in July was allowed to go away Romania whereas he awaited trial on prices of alleged human trafficking, rape, and forming a felony gang to sexually exploit ladies? (All of which he denies.)Upon listening to the information, Tate instantly introduced a “international tour” for DADDY, a Solana token he’d been selling to flip Iggy Azalea’s token MOTHER. Drawback was, although Tate introduced his tour would take him to “Tokyo, Dubai, [and] Miami,” he wasn’t allowed to go away the European Union.Tate, who’s nonetheless awaiting trial, has denied the costs.14. No, Iggy: Vitalik isn’t holding your gasoline moneyIggy Azalea at her Motherland Ranch occasion. Photograph: Iggy AzaleaOK, we love Iggy Azalea, who's our SCENE Particular person of the 12 months, as a result of she launched her personal token and may very well be the one celeb to truly preserve supporting her venture (MOTHER) months after launch. However it's not all been easy crusing for her.In response to criticism from Ethereum co-founder Vitalik Buterin, the Australian singer questioned what he’s doing with ETH gasoline charges. This induced Crypto Twitter to clown Azalea since these charges don’t contact Buterin’s pockets—they feed again into the Ethereum ecosystem. She was youthful then and we consider higher educated now!15. Crypto’s bought ass…Su Zhu throwing money on a stripper. Picture: TwitterAzalea upped the ante by internet hosting a stripper-filled occasion in Singapore, the place a few of the most degenerate clips of the 12 months have been born… which is saying so much. Some examples:16. …However Ethereum’s bought expertise!Crypto conferences are often critical occasions, full of prolonged talks about blockchain technicalities and ever-imminent mainstream adoption. However at Token 2049: Singapore, Buterin determined to spin it up with a bit crypto sing tune—very a lot paying homage to his 2019 rap.“It’s mathematical. No extra double spend, it is encryptable,” he sang onstage. “A brand new type of wealth begins.”
Right this moment, the huge cryptocurrency convention TOKEN2049 kicked off in Singapore!
Among the many audio system? Ethereum’s personal Vitalik Buterin. And guess what? He broke into tune proper on stage try the video!
PS: Twitter’s dropping it. Commenters are joking they’re promoting all their pic.twitter.com/oiQehwo7YN
— kukat ⭐️ (@kukat23) September 18, 202417. Shopping for tokens like these is insane!Insane Labz, an Arkansas-based dietary supplements firm identified all through the MMA and Barstool Sports activities world, allegedly paid a gaggle of on-line trolls to impersonate celebrities, idiot its traders, and pump its token. And the scheme labored—till it didn’t. The trolls impersonated UFC President Dana White, MMA legend Nate Diaz, and social media sensation Hasbulla to hype up the LABZ token within the firm’s Telegram group.“We simply did it for fun that bought a bit out of hand,” one of many impersonators instructed Decrypt.Dana White apparently hopped on FaceTime with the LABZ group. Picture: Telegram.18. Simping for rug pullsAs an trade stuffed with incels, virgins, and customarily lonely males, it is no shock that thirst lure pump-and-dumps grew to become commonplace this 12 months. The recipe was easy: be a woman or know a prepared one, create a Pump.enjoyable token, put on few garments, livestream, then promote all of your tokens as soon as a couple of folks purchase in. Best cash you’ll ever make.
Kim entered the bathtub,
Kim launched the coin,
Kim bought all of the cash in 1 minute,
Kim earned 0.30 SOL,
Kim bought moist for nothing.
do not be a Kim. pic.twitter.com/HbP6wMhSOg
— ferb (@ferbsol) Might 12, 202419. Drugging for rug pullsIt was a banner 12 months for drug addicts utilizing the blockchain. First we had Meth’d Up Dev that, you guessed it, did meth on a livestream to pump his token. Then, we had Crack Head Dev who—really, you didn’t guess it—overdosed on fentanyl whereas livestreaming. He later faked his loss of life earlier than turning into a full right-wing, racist Twitter persona. Who says there aren't any second acts in life?Lastly, we wrapped up the 12 months with Meth Woman, who struggled to achieve a lot traction since her Twitter accounts stored getting banned. Nonetheless, you go Meth Woman!20. Currying for rug pullsImage: TwitterAn enterprising fellow arrange a meme coin for a curry stall in Lahore, Pakistan. However Decrypt did some digging, and it turned out the stall house owners weren’t getting any cash made out of the token. So the streamer stopped the stream, and the CURRY coin tanked 92% in just some hours. You are welcome, Curry Man.21. Leaping the frogImage: Flog Group TelegramFlog the Frog (FLOG) was one of many most-hyped meme coin launches of the 12 months because of its spectacular paintings and influencer assist. However its core group by accident dumped on traders after an embarrassing miscommunication.“DUMP IT,” venture supervisor Breezy mentioned within the leaked group chat, which means to promote only a small proportion. As soon as he noticed the token crash 91% in only one minute, he wrote, “Bro, did you promote all of it?” Pyro, who was in command of the group funds, responded, “YES YOU SAID DUMP MY BRO.”“You’re a fucking fool,” Breezy defined. Happily for the artist, Flog relaunched as Fwog, in the end turning into one of many extra profitable meme cash of the 12 months.22. Leaping the squirrelPNUT is a meme coin primarily based on social media sensation Peanut the Squirrel. Picture: ShutterstockPoor, Peanut the Squirrel. Solely the nice die younger: The rodent, suspected of getting rabies, was a basic election meme—and, in fact, meme coin. PNUT noticed $150 million in every day quantity in November, and have become one of many largest meme cash by market capitalization.In a tragic autopsy twist, it was revealed that Peanut by no means had rabies and was murdered for nothing. RIP little buddy, could your meme coin dwell on and your reminiscence be a blessing.23. However wait! The squirrel coin lives!Lower than a month after the story of the not-rabid however very lifeless Peanut the squirrel captivated a world gone mad, the rodent’s proprietor—apparently miffed that carpetbaggers bought wealthy off his private tragedy—launched his personal token. By no means thoughts that “the PNUT group” supposedly donated $50,000 to the proprietor.”The truth that folks wanna earn a living off that is nothing wanting despicable,” the bereaved proprietor acknowledged in a Twitter video, earlier than pivoting to launch the token known as JUSTICE. Sadly, there was no justice for the JUSTICE token, which died deader than the fucking squirrel.24. The daddy, the son, and the holy chickenLord Fishnu sitting in some broth. Picture: Church of the Smoking Hen Fish.This 12 months spawned a faith with followers worshipping a uncooked hen with a fish head smoking a cigarette known as “Lord Fishnu.” However that’s not the dumbest second.Generally known as the Church of the Smoking Hen Fish, the meme coin-based faith baptizes followers in what’s known as a “brothism.” Usually that is simply executed by studying out the “10 chickemandments” on Twitter Areas, however one follower took it a step additional by studying them aloud in a shower, whereas totally dressed, and with uncooked hen on his head.And that’s not even the dumbest second: the church was planning on opening a bodily area in Marfa, Texas.25. And, even that wasn’t the dumbest momentA few months later, the church’s chief Pastor Kelby went rogue and began utilizing his affect over the faith to take funds and shill micro-cap meme cash. In flip, he bought banished from the church.Does this throw the bodily church plans into turmoil? 🙁26. The daddy, the spouse, and the holy tokenImage created by Decrypt utilizing AIA Colorado pastor confronted fraud allegations after he and his spouse created, then bought “illiquid and virtually nugatory” crypto tokens to traders to fund their “lavish way of life,” authorities there alleged. In response, the pastor admitted that he made $1.3 million, however mentioned that he was instructed by God to promote the tokens.”God just isn't executed with this venture; God just isn't executed with INDX coin,” he vowed.27. In God we belief. All others pay in SolanaThe CFTC filed a lawsuit towards the previous pastor of a Washington-based church of a multilevel advertising scheme that allegedly took greater than $5.9 million in money and digital belongings for a pretend “Solanofi platform.” The ex-holy man allegedly focused “unsophisticated traders,” promising they might earn as much as 34.9% month-to-month by way of a so-called leveraged staking platform, in response to the grievance.28. You'll be able to by no means belief a cabalImage: $CABAL/TwitterMeme coin devs, promising an enormous “social experiment” on Solana, tried to jumpstart a spike in a token known as CABAL after airdropping $10,000 value to 10 Crypto Twitter influencers in August. Inside a pair days, many of the influencers had dumped the factor. It now sits at a market cap of lower than $15,000.“I don’t know why they anticipated at hand somebody $10,000 and have them not promote,” mentioned one of many influencers. Notably, the record of influencers included Beaver, the one who mentioned he paid Crack Head Dev (#16, above) to pretend his personal loss of life.29. Canine WIF your fundsArtist's fervid rendition of Sphere Wif Hat. Picture: Wif on Sphere CampaignAs Dogwifhat (WIF) was establishing itself as a “blue-chip meme coin,” a gaggle of traders—together with one of many CABAL influencers, Ansem—determined to lift $700,000 to place the doggie meme coin on the Las Vegas Sphere. Eight months later, this nonetheless hasn’t occurred… with Bitcoin even beating WIF to the punch. As time passes, extra strain mounts on these in command of the funds.30. Something WIF hatMeme coin lovers began placing pink beanies on all the pieces they might, because of Dogwifhat’s reputation. “The hat stays on,” utilized to pets, celebs, each meme coin in existence, and even vehicles.31. You’re fired/rehired!Polymarket, some of the profitable crypto tasks of the 12 months, to not point out a supply of fact throughout the U.S. election, fired its intern for shilling an NFT venture known as “Retardio” on its Twitter.As soon as there was sufficient backlash—towards Polymarket that's—the intern was introduced again into the fray.UNRELATED: The UK’s Conduct Monetary Authority subsequently issued a rip-off alert concerning the token, inflicting one to surprise: WHY JUST THAT ONE?32. Purchase the rumor…When Trump went on a rant about Haitian migrants consuming pets throughout his debate with Kamala Harris, degens rubbed their fingers hungrily. That’s as a result of there have been already meme cash concerning the wild rumors, in fact.However their pleasure was short-lived: The shitcoins rapidly fell in worth when the ABC debate moderator fact-checked the baseless declare in actual time.33. …Promote the newsTim Walz. Photograph: ShutterstockAs the rumor unfold that Kamala Harris was selecting Tim Walz as her operating mate, we watched as meme coin communities that had shaped round different potential VP picks started to tank. Unhappy!Take as an illustration SHAPERO, the deliberately misspelled Josh Shapiro meme coin, which rapidly dropped 94% because the Walz information began to unfold throughout social media. Unbowed, the venture’s nameless chief urged followers on Telegram to remain the course and claimed that FUD (not the coin, however trustworthy to god concern, uncertainty and doubt) was being orchestrated to push down the worth.Actually 4 minutes later, CNN reported that Walz was Harris’s VP decide.“Oh my fuckin’ god, who rugged my bag?” one SHAPERO investor wailed in lament.34. The President just isn't lifeless, he's simply sleepingSource: ShutterstockBefore he dropped out of the Presidential race, crypto degens have been satisfied that Joe Biden had died. Naturally, a flurry of meme cash hit the blockchain, although they have been surpassed by a two-month-old token that predicted the precise date he would move; it touched a market cap of $660,000.All of those tokens tanked as soon as the rumors have been debunked. On the time of writing, Biden continues to be allegedly alive.35. Who really shot Trump?Keep in mind when Trump was almost assassinated? No, not the second time, the primary time.Effectively, Pump.enjoyable merchants by some means recognized the shooter hours earlier than the FBI confirmed who had shot on the former president. Whereas this was a powerful feat from our beloved degens, there have been additionally numerous cash that bought it painfully flawed—together with a well-liked token claiming it was an Italian journalist who, because it turned out, was peacefully sleeping on the time.Additionally, simply so as to add a bonus layer of crypto stupidity to the pile, then-popular Telegram tap-to-earn recreation Hamster Kombat turned Trump’s defiant fist pump into a completely weird tribute.36. Vote crypto, mateWhile crypto was a speaking level—to not point out an enormous supply of funds—within the U.S. election, with Trump operating on a variety of pro-crypto insurance policies, not a single U.Ok. political occasion talked about crypto of their manifestos.This was known as a “missed alternative” by a U.Ok. lobbying agency, because it ignored 10% of U.Ok. adults who personal cryptocurrency, and, presumably, wager on silly issues. To make issues worse, the chief of the Tory occasion, Rishi Sunak, had beforehand made pro-crypto stances… however did not deliver it into the election. He went on to lose miserably.37. Rug-pulled my GrandmaOnce you’re invested in a meme coin, you'll be able to’t take your eyes off the chart—a lot in order that one dealer posted a photograph of them taking a look at DEX Screener subsequent to their dying Grandma in a hospital mattress.“RIP Grandma,” they posted on Twitter. “Onboarding her property although, it’s what she would have wished.”
rip grandma fr 🙏🙏
onboarding her property although it’s what she would have wished
retardio in paradise pic.twitter.com/idc1nAK68g
— Booby Shill 🫷🤡🫸 (@BoobyShill) Might 28, 202438. No (Dr.) Disrespect intendedDr. Disrespect, well-liked streamer and co-founder of the studio behind crypto shooter Deadrop, admitted to inappropriately chatting with a minor on Twitter solely to subsequently declare he didn’t.Actually, he claims to have made the admission through a tweet to deliberately catch journalists out. Effectively, contemplate us caught, Doc. If that’s one thing you wish to say in black and white, go forward.
there is not any method Dr Disrespect is claiming he edited the phrase ‘minor' out of his authentic assertion on objective to see if journalist would decide up on it 😭 pic.twitter.com/fMe4wOzGpl
— iqkev (@iqkev) September 6, 202439. Degens take their revenge on sassy child who rugged themA teenage Solana meme coin creator rug-pulled holders after his token hit a $1 million market cap. Exhilarated from the $30,000 he’d pocketed, the punk gave the punters a one-finger salute in a house video and yelled, “Thanks for the 20 bandos,” whereas skittering round his bed room.Humiliated however vowing retribution, our degens bravely fought again, massively buying and selling the shitcoin till it surged to a $85 million market cap. Had the child held on and handled his elders with respect, his little coin would have been value greater than $4 million. Take that, insolent baby!40. Prime DOGEWhen the positive specimen of a canine everyone knows as Doge (the mascot for Dogecoin) went to heaven in Might, the proprietor bought a substitute canine—a rescue Shiba Inu named Neiro. Predictably, the brand new, outdated Shiba spawned a raft of Neiro-themed cash, with main in-fighting and accusations of scams, cabals, and hatred. All of this regardless of the proprietor refusing to endorse any of them. Is nothing sacred?Months later, in December, it was introduced that members of the Personal the Doge DAO shall be voting on which meme coin will get the Neiro IP. “This isn't healthful,” the Twitter submit mentioned.
I see many tokens associated to Kabosu and Neiro. To make clear, I don't endorse any crypto venture besides @ownthedoge $canine as a result of they personal the unique Doge photograph and IP (which I gave to them) and are dedicated to doing solely good on a regular basis, charitable works, and Doge tradition. pic.twitter.com/9qsycpdQGV
— かぼすママ (@kabosumama) July 28, 202441. Enjoyable with Bitcoin ETFs!Gary Gensler look-alike, using the Wall Road Bull whereas declaring a brand new period for crypto. Picture: UNFK (Picture created with AI)In January, the SEC’s official account tweeted that every one 13 spot Bitcoin ETFs had been accepted. However actually, the SEC’s account had been hacked and none had been accepted simply but.SEC Chairman Gary Gensler’s revelation that the tweet was pretend despatched the worth of Bitcoin plunging from $47,680 to only above $45,500. It was opp for somebody to fill their baggage, in all probability MicroStrategy’s Michael Saylor. (The precise ETF approval got here in the future later FYI.)42. Bull goals of Satoshi Nakamoto
Satoshi Nakamoto got here to me in a dream final evening and handed me Santa’s record. I noticed Bitcoin subsequent to Gates and Bezos… historical past’s being written.
— Scottie Pippen (@ScottiePippen) December 9, 2024Scottie Pippen, the legendary NBA star, claimed to have a number of goals this 12 months whereby he met the legendary Bitcoin creator Satoshi Nakamoto.Within the first of the 12 months, Pippen claimed that Satoshi was “proud” of his work for tokenizing the basketball utilized in recreation 5 of the Chicago Bulls vs. Los Angeles Lakers 1991 finals. Then in September, Satoshi visited him in a dream once more to inform him that Bitcoin could be value precisely $84,650 on November 5—which was about $14,000 off.Pippen additionally claimed that Satoshi was sending him pictures in his dream, that he stored laughing on the worth of Bitcoin, and that Bitcoin, Invoice Gates, and Jeff Bezos are on Santa’s record—he didn't specify if it was naughty or good.43. Booing for Bitcoin
Crowd reactions to pro-bitcoin remarks at OSU's graduation are telling. Bitcoin is a model. And to this viewers, an annoying or potential grifty one.pic.twitter.com/HinpbdMEup
— Andrew M. Bailey (@resistancemoney) Might 6, 2024Who amongst us hasn’t loaded up on ayahuasca, had a imaginative and prescient concerning the sanctity of alt belongings, and given a graduation deal with shilling Bitcoin at Ohio State College? Chris Pan, the graduation speaker who was rudely (!) booed when he introduced up crypto, spoke fact to energy nonetheless.His transferring deal with ventured past digital currencies, too: “I didn’t go to offer a speech,” he mentioned later in an Instagram story. “I went to share fact so we cease funding wars. We've to cease the bloodshed.” Oh, he additionally gave a Michael Scott-esque karaoke rendition of “What’s Up?” by 4 Non Blondes.
I discover it humorous whereas everybody was involved about the one who fell to their loss of life at OSU Stadium, the graduation speaker is over right here doing this pic.twitter.com/z22vuP6TZY
— Noticed Cat (Isaiah) (@Spottedcat123) Might 5, 202444. Malaysia is crushing it, Bitcoin-wiseMalaysian authorities crushed 985 Bitcoin mining rigs as a part of a national crackdown on electrical energy theft. Sure, sure, extravagant use of electrical energy is, every so often, generally related to crypto miners. However had they merely invested in Bitcoin as a substitute of destroying these valuable miners, maybe it might rank larger among the many world’s international locations by GDP. Really, it's thirty seventh of 195, which isn’t all that dangerous.45. No sweetie, when a $6.5 million fee is made in error, you'll be able to’t preserve itThis one appears a bit unfair: After centralized change Crypto.com mistakenly refunded a lady $6.8 million—as a substitute of $65! LOL!—she (and her erstwhile companion) apparently spent $4.42 million of the cash. Amongst different issues, equivalent to paintings, the couple apparently purchased 4 houses in Australia. The lady was arrested whereas she was ready to fly to… await it… Bitcoin-hating Malaysia!!! She served 209 days in jail and needed to give again the cash and different ill-gotten positive aspects.46. When scribbled on a authorized pad, the phrases “BUY BITCOIN” are value 10x greater than a bitcoinThe “Purchase Bitcoin” signal. Picture: Scarce.CityIn 2017, Christian Langalis, a 22-year-old Cato Institute intern, scrawled “Purchase Bitcoin” on a yellow authorized notepad, then photobombed Janet Yellen with it throughout a televised Home Monetary Providers Committee listening to.Clearly the worth of Bitcoin spiked by 3.7% proper after the published, making Langalis a BTC hero. In April, our man auctioned off his quarter-hour of fame for $1.019 million. Mentioned he: “It’s good to lastly liberate this quantity from my sock drawer and provide it again to the Bitcoin public.”47. Betting on Bryan’s bonerIf anybody is searching for proof of the decline of Western civilization—certainly, civilization generally—look no additional than the biohacker Bryan Johnson and his long-suffering penis. Johnson, a multi-millionaire who desires to dwell endlessly, makes your common well being nut appear to be Homer Simpson.In December, Polymarket bettors wagered on whether or not he might keep a nighttime stiffy for greater than two hours throughout sleep. Nighttime erections are “a major organic age marker representing sexual, cardiovascular, and psychological well being,” Johnson mentioned, citing analysis that correlates a better danger of loss of life for males who don’t get wooden within the evening. As in the event you didn’t have sufficient to fret about.
There's now an energetic betting market on @Polymarket for my nighttime erections.
A couple of issues to think about when making your wager:
+ I return from China on the sixteenth of Dec and measurement will happen throughout the closing week of the month. I've not beforehand measured how a lot… pic.twitter.com/1yZtCFkE1U
— Bryan Johnson /dd (@bryan_johnson) December 10, 202448. Heads I win, tails you’re a l0serIt’s factor Polymarket grew to become well-liked sufficient to permit degens to wager on something, even Johnson’s johnson. In June, deep within the doldrums of a dull market, they have been so bored that the poor bastards have been really betting on coin flips. Yep, simply join your pockets to a web site known as Degen Coin Flips. What might presumably go flawed?49. What's it with hamsters?In August, degens, apparently uninterested in betting on coin tosses, discovered a brand new obsession: Betting on dwell hamsters racing in little plastic vehicles. It was the second straight 12 months that the premise had been examined, however the added vehicles arguably juiced the attraction.50. Annals of silly token launches, #1 in an infinite seriesOne of the biggest DEXs on Solana, Raydium deployed a meme coin on a brand new token launchpad, nevertheless it backfired and “did not precisely go as anticipated,” with two similar tokens created and the primary dropping 92% in simply 10 minutes. The token initially had spiked to a $7 million market cap, earlier than plummeting to $488,000. “Is it rug?” requested one well-trained Discord person.51. Annals of silly token launches, #2 in an infinite seriesImagine a meme coin that did not pump earlier than it may very well be dumped. That was the case with a celeb coin apparently promoted by Brazilian footballer Neymar Jr, bassist and lyricist for Pink Floyd Roger Waters, and a variety of different highly-followed accounts, together with the CEO of a luxurious way of life model.Regardless of the celeb tweets reaching over 3 million folks, the token barely hit a market cap of $19,000. Actually, it was held by simply two dozen holders, and had a scant $4 value of liquidity. You’ve in all probability guessed by now that these luminaries had nothing to do with the token, and their X accounts had been hacked.“It was the saddest launch I’ve ever seen,” mentioned the CEO of on-chain analytics firm Bubblemaps,
think about hacking a Neymar jr fan account with 2M followers and Roger Waters' account to advertise a token
solely to finish up with $4 in liquidity
the celeb meta is formally lifeless 😭 pic.twitter.com/WuT7vZ9Hle
— Bubblemaps (@bubblemaps) September 13, 202452. Binance says a few of its finest pals are folks of colorBinance, the world’s greatest crypto change, posted a meme to X in June that appeared to recommend that it was discriminating towards its customers primarily based on pores and skin coloration. The change, in fact, blamed an intern on its social media group who “lacks the corresponding cultural background” wanted to know what racism is.“Once they noticed this MEME picture in the neighborhood, they didn't perceive its which means and posted it on X. That is our fault, and we'll ensure to rectify this problem,” Binance wrote. The answer, the agency mentioned, was to rent a brand new intern.
“WE CLEARLY NEED A NEW INTERN” – BINANCE APOLOGIZES FOR RACIST MEME POSTED TO ITS TWITTER ACCOUNT
“The social media group has not too long ago been onboarded and lacks the corresponding cultural background” ~ Binance co-founder, Yi He.
– Solely yesterday, the official @Binance X/Twitter… pic.twitter.com/6Z35pc8Gop
— BSCN (@BSCNews) June 16, 202453. Observe to Kraken hackers: Your halloween masks doesn’t idiot anyoneSome genius tried to entry a Kraken account in June by attempting to speak a customer support rep into giving him entry. The man was actually carrying an affordable Halloween masks.“Our agent was like: That is completely ridiculous. This can be a rubber masks the man's carrying,” Kraken Chief Safety Officer Nick Percoco instructed Decrypt.54. The rugging and resurrection of the TrumpCoinThe Solana-based meme coin TrumpCoin—which launched in June amid a flurry of boasts over its claimed however nonetheless unproven connection to former U.S. President Donald Trump—misplaced 92% of its worth after a hearty rugging.The DJT token, impressed by the President-elect, went into freefall after the biggest whale and proprietor (20% of the availability) bought off $2 million in tokens—some 2 billion of the suckers—in a single large dump. The token's market capitalization plummeted from $55 million to $3 million in minutes. Ah, however who’s laughing now? The token almost doubled its all-time-high worth after Trump received the election, earlier than plunging again to the ground.55. America’s sweetheart awakensHaliey Welch, aka the Hawk Tuah Woman, launched a HAWK token. Sooner than you'll be able to say “spit on that thang,” the token climbed to a market capitalization of $490 million… earlier than instantly collapsing by greater than 93% in worth. Some $3 million was pocketed by individuals unknown.“Haliey’s group has bought completely no tokens in anyway,” her folks mentioned, denying they orchestrated a rug pull.Welch tried to reply questions from heartbroken traders in a Areas, however when the going bought powerful, Welch bought going: “I’m gonna go to mattress” she mentioned, and stop the chat, seemingly by no means to return to Crypto Twitter or our hearts once more. Lastly, on December 20, Sleeping Magnificence awoke from her 372-hour slumber to proclaim that she's working with the legislation agency that sued the HAWK token’s creators.56. Hamster massageImage created by Decrypt utilizing AIWho knew that these private therapeutic massage gadgets have been good for one thing apart from intercourse toys? Russian avid gamers, that’s who!On-line retailer Wildberries reported a 179% month-over-month gross sales spike for percussion massagers in June, which was attributed to gamers of the massively well-liked Telegram recreation, Hamster Kombat.Apparently somebody discovered that they might jack up their in-game coin earnings through the use of the factor, which pulses quickly to ship quicker display screen faucets than a human participant can. However provided that the sport’s broadly disappointing airdrop delivered “mud,” we’d be shocked in the event that they earned sufficient to even cowl the price of the vibrating machine.57. Too huge to fail and never return as a crypto companyIt’s baaaack: Enron, the image of fin de siècle dotcom extra, introduced through X in early December that it was returning to “solv[e] the worldwide power disaster” with the help of decentralized expertise. Whether or not it’s a parody, actual tried comeback, or actual tried comeback that ends in parody stays to be seen. Within the meantime, the agency says “permissionless innovation” shall be central to its comeback.58. Biting the banana that feeds youWe don’t know something about artwork, however we find out about dumb. And it's debatable what’s dumber: Shopping for a high-concept piece of artwork—a banana duct taped to a wall—for $6.2 million at a Sotheby’s public sale, or consuming the banana later. Each of which Justin Solar, the P.T. Barnum of crypto, did in November. That mentioned, he was inspired to routinely substitute the banana anyway.As a gesture of excellent will, Solar introduced that he would buy 100,000 bananas from the identical New York sidewalk stall the place the unique banana got here from—claiming he’d distribute them worldwide at no cost. However it was rapidly revealed that this simply isn’t potential. The seller mentioned they’d barely make any revenue, and even then the logistics are a nightmare.59. Even in jail, the scammer generally known as Razzlekhan retains on shillingHeather “Razzlekhan” Morgan, infamous for her function within the notorious $10.8 billion Bitfinex hack in 2016, has written a tune! It's, apparently, a rap devoted to the love of her life, husband and companion in crime, Ilya Lichtenstein, whom she hasn’t seen outdoors of a courtroom for 3 years. The tune, which she says was written throughout a stint in solitary confinement, was launched in a video and ends on an upbeat notice: “Carry on praying for what the longer term brings. Inshallah.”60. Congressman digs canine wif ski maskA meme coin primarily based on a canine in a ski masks pumped this month, apparently as a result of U.S. Congressman Mike Collins (R-GA) acknowledged that he purchased as a lot as $30,000 of it.“I preferred the cash, so I purchased them,” the no-nonsense Collins instructed Decrypt. “Washington and Wall Road have stigmatized rising expertise within the crypto ecosystem for a lot too lengthy, and it’s about time that we begin treating this trade with the respect it deserves.” This isn't dumb.61. “Don’t fear about it”Remilia Company took $20 million in a pre-sale for its CULT meme coin, then nothing occurred for six months. Anybody who expressed concern was flooded with feedback of “Don’t fear about it” from CULT members, regardless of those self same folks spreading pretend information that the token launch had been cancelled.Neighborhood members instructed Decrypt that they discovered it “humorous” that individuals have been nervous. The token did finally launch in December.62. Saving Democracy, one battle royale at a timeImage: Off the GridPopular battle royale recreation Off the Grid added participant skins impressed by Donald Trump and Kamala Harris through its November “Save Democracy” content material pack. The pack included two “Epic” weapons, in addition to character emotes that present the fake politicians both constructing a wall or tossing a molotov cocktail. Better of all, the skins use true-to-life voices, with Trump saying “I really feel like a Democrat” when he’s injured, or Harris quipping “Tax that fucker” when taking pictures at an enemy.63. Rug your mates for enjoyable and revenue, with out riskImage: Rug.funDon't have the ‘nads to create a meme coin, pump it as much as a billion market cap, after which rug the poor schmuckos holding it? Then Rug.enjoyable is the sport for you! It simulates all of the enjoyable—and dumbnasity—of the true deal. Constructed on Coinbase’s Ethereum layer-2 community Base, gamers gamble on 10 tokens, eight of which shall be rug pulled.64. Each time you tickle a cat an angel will get its wingsTapos is a “tickle-to-earn” recreation on the Aptos community that prompts customers to tickle an on-screen cat for HEART tokens, serving to the community document over 200 million transactions throughout two days in Might. The Notcoin-esque cat clicker recreation information each click on on-chain.In August, the location claimed to have surpassed a complete of 500 million transactions. However weirdly, it has since stopped giving updates.65. X Empire gamers whine to an detached Elon MuskElon Musk. Picture: ShutterstockGuys, regardless of the weird “X” in its title, X Empire has completely nothing to do with X the social platform—regardless of it being beforehand known as Musk Empire. Bought that? In October, the Telegram tap-to-earn recreation X Empire revealed airdrop allocations to customers, prompting a bunch of dim, ineligible gamers to tweet their complaints to Elon Musk.“Completely rip-off venture backed by your title,” tweeted one participant. “X Empire. Elon Musk. Musk Empire. Do interrogation on X Empire group. They're similar to scammer.”For sure, the proprietor of X and grasp of all he surveys didn't reply. Observe, lads: Sooner or later, don't vent at Musk for x-rated motion pictures or something having to do with x chromosomes. He's not liable for these both. But.66. See you, would not wanna be youWhen Fantasy Prime, a SocialFi recreation that incentivized influencers to farm Twitter engagement, went viral this summer time, a degen generally known as Franklin determined to submit each 5 minutes to maximise his factors. Deadpan and constant, gotta respect it.Franklin, for many who have been round for the NFT bull run, can be well-known for sharing his Ls, together with dropping $150,000 in a “prank” NFT bid that he admitted was the “fumble of the century.”67. Kamala is nowhere to be found-alaKamala Harris. Photograph: ShutterstockFor some time, it regarded like Kamala Harris was really taking an curiosity in crypto and may rethink the Biden administration’s clueless crypto insurance policies. It additionally appeared like she may even converse at Permissionless, Blockworks’ annual convention. And for some time, it even regarded like she may win the Common Election.None of these items got here to move.68. Donald Trump loves him some cryptoSource: ShutterstockThe President-elect, in contrast, embraced the crypto group. Notably, he delivered a rambling speech in July on the huge Bitcoin Convention in Nashville, the place he uncovered how little he knew about crypto. His connection to crypto hardly stopped there.In an interview with Rug Radio (like Decrypt, an entirely owned subsidiary of Dastan), Trump shilled his new “World Liberty Monetary” venture, which seems to be headed towards some sort of stablecoin providing. This appears very a lot in step with the entire ethos of crypto!69. Litecoin? Extra like shitecoin
As a result of present market situations I now determine as a memecoin.
— Litecoin (@litecoin) November 14, 2024After years of building itself as a legit decentralized digital forex, Litecoin’s Twitter intern determined to rebrand the venture right into a meme coin.“As a result of present market situations I now determine as a meme coin,” the Twitter account posted, {followed} by a spree of shitposts together with the creation of a stickman mascot known as Lester. Mockingly, this preceded a 79% worth bump. Gosh, what a dumb—and lovable—trade that is!Bonus Merchandise: Let she or he who's with out dumbness forged the primary stone…Decrypt had a metric shit ton of dumb errors final 12 months, however delicacy prevents us from printing all of them once more. This is to many extra in 2025.Every day Debrief NewsletterStart daily with the highest information tales proper now, plus authentic options, a podcast, movies and extra.